I just got back from Chicago.
It was beautiful.
I hope that my ultrasound tomorrow morning will be beautiful too.
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My name is Gwynn and I waited until 39 1/2 (stupid, stupid girl!) to finally decide that I might want children. I didn't completely understand the whole "your fertility takes a giant dump after 36" thing until we'd been trying for several months and I decided to do a little research. WOW! Talk about an eye-opener.
So, we jumped into IVF (realizing my days were numbered to try to conceive with my own eggs) and, at 40, did 2 cycles. The first was BFN (because I got a terrible infection from the retrieval) and the second was BFP! The result was our beautiful son.
Being the greedy person I can sometimes be, I recently tried for another child. One IVF cycle. One retrieval. And this time, just one embryo. So after an anxiety-filled couple days, we did a 2 cell 2 day transfer, prayed hard, and were blessed with a BFP! But unfortunately, I didn't win the over 40 genetic lottery. We knew something was wrong pretty early on. The baby's growth was slow. It's heartbeat was slow. My hormone levels were low. But it was too early in the pregnancy to do a CVS test or even to see the baby clearly enough to try to figure out what was going on. So we waited. And waited. For weeks and weeks. Checking every three days to see if the heart had stopped beating. And at 9 weeks it did. The waiting and the emotional aftermath was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.
Currently I'm wrestling with whether to try again. If I do, it will most likely be my last shot. In January '10 I will turn 43 and at that point the odds of me getting pregnant, with my own eggs, will be about 2%. I know, I know... my fault. I really did come to the party a little too late.
So here I am. Trying to sort it all out.
So, we jumped into IVF (realizing my days were numbered to try to conceive with my own eggs) and, at 40, did 2 cycles. The first was BFN (because I got a terrible infection from the retrieval) and the second was BFP! The result was our beautiful son.
Being the greedy person I can sometimes be, I recently tried for another child. One IVF cycle. One retrieval. And this time, just one embryo. So after an anxiety-filled couple days, we did a 2 cell 2 day transfer, prayed hard, and were blessed with a BFP! But unfortunately, I didn't win the over 40 genetic lottery. We knew something was wrong pretty early on. The baby's growth was slow. It's heartbeat was slow. My hormone levels were low. But it was too early in the pregnancy to do a CVS test or even to see the baby clearly enough to try to figure out what was going on. So we waited. And waited. For weeks and weeks. Checking every three days to see if the heart had stopped beating. And at 9 weeks it did. The waiting and the emotional aftermath was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.
Currently I'm wrestling with whether to try again. If I do, it will most likely be my last shot. In January '10 I will turn 43 and at that point the odds of me getting pregnant, with my own eggs, will be about 2%. I know, I know... my fault. I really did come to the party a little too late.
So here I am. Trying to sort it all out.
Good luck with the ultrasound!!!
ReplyDeleteWere you in Chicago for work or fun? That's where I live. :-)
Thanks so much!! I was there for a wedding and my parents live in NW Indiana so I'm in that neck of woods a couple time a year. I'm jealous that you live there. It's one of my absolute favorite cities!
ReplyDeleteMe too! I'm in Chicago. But I'm plotting to move to the Pacific Northwest eventually.. better climate for gardening and life in general. Good luck with your u/s.
ReplyDelete